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We know your break-up is tragique. If you feel the urge to watch these videos, DON’T. Your lips could accidentally curl upward, a chuckle could escape, and there is NOTHING funny about a break-up.

Match.com Mama
What do women want? By: Brian Scott McFadden
Rand LeSueur. Speaker about relationships.
12 Step Breakup Recovery Program By: Blunt Delivery
How to Break Up With Someone By: Blunt Delivery
Online Dating Streamlines Rejection For Women By: The Onion
How to Get Over Him By: Videojug
Dating Advice By: Target Women
Relationship Status By: South Park
He Can Have Any Girl He Wants By: South Park
We Need Girlfriends
Check out What Single Women Really Want for Christmas Gift!
Pattern Of Relationships By: Michael Gelbart
Love By: Chris Rock
He Said She Said – Un Romantic Comedy
National Dating Standards Lowered
A Relationship Is Just Like Football By: Doug Williams
How to Dump a Dick By: Booya Pictures


Four reasons to date someone in rehab (article)
All my ex-boyfriends cheated on me, so it’s nice dating someone women find unattractive (cartoon)
10 Creative Ways to Break Up (article)
On Facebook, Every Relationship Is Complicated
Relationship Timeline
Dating cartoon By: Cyanide and Happiness
I want to meet someone and fall in love without getting up (postcard)
A Periodical for the Periodically Neurotic
Politically Correct Ways to Describe Men's Faults
What a Woman Wants in a Man
Define Your Relationship Status
Relationship Humor


TJ & Katie
The Stalker
Perfect Match
Philip's Break Up Tips
Greg's Breakup Speech
Mary's Breakup Speech
Philip's Breakup Speech
Nefe's Breakup Excuses
Dating Poem
Crossdresser Breakup
Moe's First Breakup
Diana's Breakup Speech


Wake Up made it to the funnies! Thanks Jerry King.
Follow the ongoing saga of our friends Philip & Mary

You’ll replay these lines for months — in your head… over brunch with the girls... watching reruns of bad Meg Ryan movies for the tenth time. But should you believe them? We report. You decide.

  1. You've become my best friend.
  2. It hurts me as well...we're in this together...even apart.
  3. You're like a sister to me... it just feels different.
  4. The hottest relationships can seem so cold in the end.
  5. It was easy falling in love and that's why it's so hard to say goodbye.
  6. Love should be unconditional & I just don't want to prolong what can't happen.
  7. Don't focus on what you could have done because it's not you - or me - it's just us.
  8. It's not you. It's your Mom.
  9. I'm just not ready to be with someone as special as you.
  10. I just can't do it anymore.
  11. We can still be friends.
  12. I'm just not ready to be with someone as special as you.
  13. You really deserve better.
Feel good about being Single!
  1. You'll find it when you're not looking.
  2. When you're ready, it will come.
  3. He's out there just waiting to meet you.
  4. Being single is so much more fun!
  5. This is time to focus on yourself...and your career!
  6. You have to love yourself before someone else can love you.
  7. Enjoy this time of freedom
  8. It's better to be single then to settle.
  9. Most married people are miserable.
  10. You're such a catch- anybody would be lucky to have you!
and remember.... Just because he changed his Facebook status to "single" doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Bad SEX excuses
  1. There are other ways to be close.
  2. Everything else is so good.
  3. We're just both tired.
  4. Snuggling is great in itself.
  5. All relationships go thru dryspells.
  6. Sex is over-rated
  7. Everybody else is having a lot less sex then you think
  8. Our relationship is more spiritual than physical
  9. Most couples stop after a while.
  10. You just had too much to drink
and remember... It's not you, it's me!

...but they wouldn't be cliches if they weren't true!

  1. There are other fish in the sea.
  2. You have to get right back on the horse!
  3. It's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.
  4. You were waayyyyyy too good for him.
  5. Your intelligence was too threatening.
  6. If the two of you are meant to be, it will happen someday.
  7. You're better off.
  8. It's better you find out now then when you have kids.
  9. I didn't want to tell you, but I never liked him.
  10. What a great opportunity diet!

Sound the alarm when your man tries some of the oldest, and lamest, tricks and excuses in the book. Then kick his ass to the curb!

  1. Quits calling every day.
  2. Busy, busy, busy.
  3. Sleeps at friends’ house.
  4. You get voicemail all the time on his cell.
  5. He's not where he said he'd be.
  6. Your friends see him out at a club with "customers" or "clients."
  7. Foreplay is a lost art.
  8. Leaves after sex.
  9. Only calls for drunken late night bootie calls.
  10. Introduces you to a friend or another girl as "my friend."

You personally could stop after #s 1&2, but the rest of the list is pretty damn satisfying also! Take a few days and get back to us. We guarantee… you’ll feel better!

  1. Ice cream
  2. Toys
  3. Banging his best friend
  4. Shopping
  5. Staying busy
  6. Crying
  7. Breaking things
  8. Burning his pictures
  9. Drinking heavily and being personally destructive
  10. Take it one day at a time
  1. Reading old love letters.
  2. Looking at old pictures or scrap books.
  3. Calling his friends to find out why.
  4. Rush into another relationship.
  5. Stalk his house.
  6. Tap into his voicemail.
  7. Re-write the relationship in your head.
  8. "Accidently" bump into him.
  9. Sleep with him again

After a few stiff martinis, a completely unsatisfying “talk” and some very satisfying break-up sex (it’s always better when it’s your last time), you might hear him utter these words. Or not.

  1. If you didn't put out so early I might of had something to fight for.
  2. It’s not me, it's you.
  3. Now that we don't do it whenever I want, I'd rather hang with the boys.
  4. Outta beer, Outta here.
  5. You were so easy it scares me to think of all the people you've been with.
  6. I used to stick up for you when my friends said you were a bitch....
  7. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I would be holding you back.
The best way to recover from a chocolate addiction is to eat five cans of Dunkin Hines frosting mix in one sitting. Jump into our tub of rejection flavored frosting, bathe in it, lick it, snort it, wash your hair with it, as professional comediennes break-up with you over and over and over again. It’s so painful it helps.