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ARE YOU A GOOD LISTENER?
THE EMPATHIC RESPONSE

Your Friend is calling you, in tears, with this story:

“He told me he loved me.  Like always, he said he had a meeting with his accountant on Thursday at 8 o'clock. I happened to go into his bedroom and while there I decided to check my e-mail's on his computer. Then it happens. I "accidentally" read his e-mails instead.  It is from this woman I've never heard of...someone called Tracy.  He says he'll meet her at their favorite restaurant at 8 o'clock on Thursday."

As a friend, what is your response?

A. “You know, I really, really want to hear this, but at the moment I'm in a rush. Tell me please, but just make it short, okay?"

B. "You know the same thing happened to me. I was in college, working out West (I told you didn't I that I had worked at Jackson Hole – the best summer of my life) – anyway, this cowboy; oh he was so dreamy, and you know how all American, and outdoorsy, cowboys are, and.....blah, blah, blah"

C. “I know. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…Life is tough. Hey have you seen that show on Bravo? So good. So very, very good. You would really like it. Do you like my new outfit?"

D. "You should never have dated that guy. I told you so. I knew from the first he was a liar. Now next time, what you need to do is look more carefully at someone's character, (you know you have this problem, right?) and above else, don't read someone else's e-mail. How could you do that? Let this be a lesson to you about reading someone else's e-mail. You know, that is into HIS boundaries. But cheer up, he isn't worth it anyway. This is his problem, not yours."

E. “Wow! He told you he loved you? He really said he loved you? That must have felt so good to be told that you are loved and then this, finding this e-mail. This finding out of new information about him. What a shock. Just when you felt safe enough in his love. Now, now, this lie comes to the surface. You must feel so NOT loved. You must feel so hurt and betrayed. Wow! This must be so confusing."

 

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